SOMEONE IN CHURCH HURT ME

Statistics show that a great percentage of persons who stop going to church, do so because of some type of offense or injury to their feelings. It's unfortunate that such experiences ever occur. You may not be able to stop offensive things from happening, but by applying God's principles you can stop them from hurting you. "Great peace have they which love thy law: and nothing shall offend them" (Psalm 119:165 KJV).

My dear brothers and sister, I recognize your pain and know it hurts deep. It took this pain for me to realize that God calls us to live a life we cannot live, so that we must depend on him for supernatural ability. We are called to do the impossible, to live beyond our natural ability. As you mend take to heart that the man who is poor in spirit is the man who has realized that things mean nothing, and that God means everything. I beseech you, my dear brothers and sister in Christ, in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him that loved us so pull yourself up by your bootstraps and rise up. You are soldiers (Army of the Lord), therefore pick up your Swords (Bible) and remember who your ruler is (Jesus) and don't forget his daily briefing.

The following are several things that people can do to protect themselves from getting hurt in the church:

How can a person keep from getting hurt or injured in a church fellowship?

(1) Avoid developing unreasonable expectations.
"My soul, wait silently for God alone, For my expectation is from Him" (Psa. 62:5).

The definition of disappointment is "the failure to attain one's expectations." Don't expect things from the church or the minister that they can't deliver, or that the Bible doesn't teach for them to do. Many expectations have to do with preconceived "traditions" which we have come to associate with a church, perhaps from another fellowship we once attended or grew up in, etc. It's a good idea to meet with the pastor and ask what you can expect of his ministry and the church.

Occasionally people get disappointed when they find out their church can't supply all their earthly needs. Most churches attempt to help the needy during crisis and emergencies, but some expect the church to meet all their material needs or pay their bills like the early church did. Unfortunately, this just isn't possible unless everyone agrees to sell all their property and possessions and give them to the church like the early believers (Acts 4:34-35). Most churches would be blessed if everyone merely paid their tithes, however statistics show that only a small percentage of churchgoers give a full tithe regularly.

Neither is it realistic to expect the pastor to spend all his time with you, to attend every social function, or for him to show you constant attention. Learn to place your expectations upon God — He will always be faithful to His promises in His Word.

(2) Don't place an absolute trust in people. "Thus says the LORD: Cursed is the man who trusts in man and makes flesh his strength, whose heart departs from the LORD" (Jer. 17:5).

Come to terms with the fact that everyone is human and will fail you at sometime or another. Even the pastor will make mistakes. The only one you can trust entirely without fail is God.

Realizing that any human can fall short, the degree of trust we place in people must be limited and will depend on their track record. The more we get to know a person's character and the history of their behavior, we'll be able to determine how trustworthy they are. This is one of the reasons why the scriptures tell us to get to know our pastors and spiritual leaders — so from their godly lifestyle, we'll be able to trust their leadership. "And we urge you, brethren, to recognize those who labor among you, and are over you in the Lord and admonish you." (1 Thes. 5:12).

There's a difference between "love" and "trust." It's possible to love and forgive someone, without placing an absolute trust in them. To illustrate this, let's say there's a school bus driver who has a drinking problem. One day while transporting a load of children he becomes intoxicated, wrecks the bus and kills all the children. As the lone survivor of the crash, he turns to the church to seek God's forgiveness for this horrible act of irresponsibility. If he repents of his sin, will God forgive him? Absolutely. Should the church love and forgive this person? Of course. And what if he would then like to volunteer to drive the church bus for us? Do we trust him? Absolutely not! It would be unthinkable to put a person in the driver's seat who has shown such recent negligence. Certainly, we love and forgive him, but because of this man's poor track record, we could not risk the lives of our passengers. Over a long period of sobriety and safe driving, this person may be able to prove that he is again reliable, capable of being trusted as a bus driver.

Remember that love and forgiveness is granted unconditionally, but trust must be "earned." Trust is the acquired confidence in a person's actions. We certainly can, and should trust persons who show trustworthy behavior, but because all men have the potential for failure, we should never put an infallible sense of trust in anyone but God.

(3) Focus on common ground. "Now I plead with you, brethren, by the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that you all speak the same thing, and that there be no divisions among you, but that you be perfectly joined together in the same mind and in the same judgment" (1 Cor. 1:10).

Avoid becoming highly opinionated. Opinions are the interpretations and ideas of men, which if constantly pressed on other people, can cause division or promote sinful debates and quarrels (Rom. 1:29). Opinionated people are prone to get hurt when others disagree with them.

The Bible teaches for all Christians to "speak the same thing" so that there will be unity in the body of Christ (1 Cor. 1:10). The only way such unity is possible, is for Christians to focus on the common ground of Christ and His Word. That is, we need to "say what the Word says," to let the Word speak for itself and not try to promote divisive opinions about it. In scripture, we see that Paul instructed Timothy to "Preach the Word," not his opinions (2 Tim. 4:2). A preacher is intended be a delivery boy of God's message, not a commentator of the message. That's the Holy Spirit's job (1 John 2:27).

Similarly, at one time the news media was required to comply with a very strict code of ethics. They were to report the facts of the news accurately without adding their opinion or commentary. However, as time has passed, news reporting has become less factual and more opinionated — corrupted with rumors and gossip rather than real information. Reporters have evolved into commentators which manipulate what people think about the news. Like reporters, preachers need to stick with the facts.

Naturally every believer has his or her own convictions about a great many things, but if you continually try to push your opinions on others, conflict will eventually emerge. Avoid controversy over scriptures which are vague and foster many interpretations — stand fast upon those common, basic truths — Jesus, His life, death and resurrection — and don't add to what God's Word says. "Every word of God is pure; He is a shield to those who put their trust in Him. Do not add to His words, lest He reprove you, and you be found a liar" (Prov. 30:5-6).

(4) Don't expect any church to be perfect. "For I know that in me (that is, in my flesh) nothing good dwells; for to will is present with me, but how to perform what is good I do not find. For the good that I will to do, I do not do; but the evil I will not to do, that I practice." (Rom. 7:18-19)

It is remarkable to consider that the Apostle Paul confessed that he was not perfect — that is, like us, he experienced struggles in his flesh to do the right things. If one of the leading authors of scripture and apostles of the early church admitted to this, it should not seem too strange if we find other brothers and sisters in the church struggling with imperfections too.

Since churches are made up of people like you and me who have imperfections, there will never be such a thing as a perfect church. Unless people understand this, they'll have an unrealistic view of the church, and will eventually become disillusioned and hurt.

One of the jobs of the church ministry is to help perfect the saints — like a spiritual hospital, where people go to get well. Instead of resenting persons in the church for their flaws, be thankful they're there trying to grow in Christ to get better. Learn to love and accept people for what they are — they're not any more perfect than you are.

Just as it has been said of beauty, imperfection is in the eye of the beholder. A person with a negative attitude can find fault wherever they wish. In contrast the person with a positive outlook can always find the good and beauty in things. The well adjusted person in the church should seek out the good and encouraging things as the Bible teaches (Phil. 4:8). Those who dwell on the negative or continually find fault with the church will eventually get hurt.

(5) Don't seek to promote yourself or your own agenda. "Do not lift up your horn on high; Do not speak with a stiff neck. For exaltation comes neither from the east Nor from the west nor from the south. But God is the Judge: He puts down one, And exalts another" (Psa. 75:5-7).

Have a humble and meek attitude like Christ (Matt. 11:29, Rom. 12:3). Besides being obnoxious, pride and arrogance will set you up for a fall (Prov. 16:18). Don't promote yourself, campaign or strive to attain an appointed or elected position. God is the one who puts persons in such positions, and unless He does it, stay away from it. Lift up the Lord in all that you say and all you do. Don't boast or talk about yourself. "He who speaks from himself seeks his own glory; but He who seeks the glory of the One who sent Him is true, and no unrighteousness is in Him" (John 7:18).

Avoid an attitude of competition which creates conflict in unity. A competitive attitude compares self with others, and strives to rise above that comparison (2 Cor. 10:12). The philosophy of Christianity is not to try to outdo one another, but to submit to and lift up one another (Eph. 5:21). We are even told to "prefer" our brother above ourselves. "Be kindly affectionate to one another with brotherly love, in honor giving preference to one another" (Rom. 12:10). Competition between churches and Christians is divisive and contrary to the faith.

Don't expect to receive preferential treatment or to get your way about everything. The Bible teaches that favoritism is wrong, and the church will try to make decisions and do things in the best interest of the whole congregation, not just a certain few. "...but if you show partiality, you commit sin, and are convicted by the law as transgressors" (James 2:9). If you do things for the church or give generous offerings, do it to bring glory to God, not to bring attention to yourself or to gain influence (Col. 3:17). The Bible even says that when you give charitable offerings, do it anonymously so to gain God's approval, not merely man's (Matt. 6:1).

Avoid the trap of presuming that your opinions are always divinely inspired or are indisputable. Share your suggestions and ideas with church leaders, but don't press your opinions or personal agenda. Sometimes, persons feel that all their ideas come from God. They may attempt to add clout to their suggestions or complaints by saying "God told me so." Indeed, God does speak to His children, but you will not be the exclusive source through which God reveals himself in a matter. If your opinions really come from God, the Bible says that others will bear witness with it, especially His pastors and leaders (2 Cor. 13:1, 1 Cor. 14:29). (You won't even have to invoke God's name — they'll be able to tell if your ideas came from Him. Be cautious, lest you find yourself using His name falsely, a very dangerous thing — Ex. 20:7). Pastors are His representatives in His ordained chain of command, and if He wants to get something across to His church, He'll bear witness with the persons in charge.

(6) Avoid blaming the church for personal problems. "You will keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on You, because he trusts in You" (Isaiah 26:3).

When you go to church, you should try to dissociate the church from the other personal problems you deal with. The majority of hurt feelings in a church result from wounds and sensitivities people carry in with them. This kind of emotional distress can create "distorted perceptions" which may prevent you from seeing reality the same way others do. Such things as a low self esteem, abuse as a child, marital problems, personal offenses, family conflict, a root of bitterness, health problems or job dissatisfaction can twist your interpretation of words and actions. You may imagine that people don't like you (paranoia), or misinterpret well-intended words as an offense. Trivial problems will seem like big problems. Blame for unhappiness may be transferred to the church, its leaders or the people. You may lash out against others or be quick to find fault with the church. Remember this: Don't jump to conclusions over anything, because things are usually not as bad as they seem.

(7) Treat others as you wish to be treated. "Therefore, whatever you want men to do to you, do also to them, for this is the Law and the Prophets" (Matt. 7:12).

Human beings tend to be "reciprocal" creatures. That is, they reflect the way they are treated. This is why Jesus gave us the Golden rule: "Do unto others as you would have them to do unto you." The way that most people interact with you is as a direct result of how you interact with them. If you have a frown on your face, you won't get many smiles. If you offer friendliness, it will usually be offered back (Proverbs 18:24). Be gracious, encouraging, and a blessing for others to be around. If you have a negative, critical attitude toward people it will tend to generate their critical attitude toward you. "Judge not, and you shall not be judged. Condemn not, and you shall not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven" (Luke 6:37).

Many hurt feelings can be avoided if we will realize that people usually react to how we deal with them. Take a close examination at the way you say things, or even how much you talk. "...a fool's voice is known by his many words" (Ec. 5:3). Don't be rude and impolite. Check your attitude that you're not overbearing and bossy — people will be turned off and will seek to avoid you.

(8) Have a teachable, cooperative attitude. "Obey those who rule over you, and be submissive, for they watch out for your souls, as those who must give account. Let them do so with joy and not with grief, for that would be unprofitable for you" (Heb. 13:17).

The Bible teaches believers to be cooperative and submissive to their spiritual leaders — something that's not possible unless the believer is committed to a church and accountable to a local pastor. Accountability to a godly shepherd is a part of God's order for the spiritual growth of every Christian. God's Word gives the pastor authority to organize and maintain order of the church, and to teach God's truth, to correct, and to discipline when necessary to hold his flock accountable to biblical principles. In Paul's encouragement to ministers, he stated, "Preach the word! Be ready in season and out of season. Convince, rebuke, exhort, with all longsuffering and teaching" (2 Tim. 4:2). (See also 2 Tim. 3:16, Tit. 2:15, 1 Tim. 5:20.)

A lack of proper respect toward authority is a common problem today. People don't want to be told what to do, or be corrected if they are wrong. This is one reason why the modern church is turning out so many immature believers. When some people hear something they don't like, or are corrected in some way, they simply pack up and go to another church down the street, or church-hop until they find one that says things they like to hear. "For the time will come when they will not endure sound doctrine, but according to their own desires, because they have itching ears, they will heap up for themselves teachers" (2 Timothy 4:3).

As long as you are a part of any particular church, you must come to accept that the pastor and leaders are in charge there. Regardless of how unqualified you might think they are, God recognizes them as the authority in that body and will hold them accountable to that responsibility. Consequently, God holds you accountable to respect their authority, to pray for them, and to cooperate — not to be defiant and rebellious.

Always be cooperative, willing to humble yourself. If you have a rigid, inflexible attitude in the church you will probably get hurt.

(9) Don't oppose or hinder the church. "These six things the LORD hates, yes, seven are an abomination to Him: A proud look, a lying tongue, hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked plans, feet that are swift in running to evil, a false witness who speaks lies, and one who sows discord among brethren" (Prov. 6:16-19).

One of the things that God dislikes most are those who sow discord — who create division and strife in the body of Christ. Don't be a gossip, a complainer, or stir up turmoil. If you're displeased with the church in some way, offer your help to make improvements, pray for it, or as a last resort, find another church you're happier with — but never become a source of agitation or hindrance.

Don't badmouth a man of God — if you do so, you're asking for problems. One time when Paul was punished for preaching the Gospel, he unknowingly condemned Ananias, the high priest, who had ordered the apostle slapped. However, when Paul realized who he was, he apologized for speaking against Ananias, knowing that it's forbidden to speak against God's representative — despite the fact that Ananias' treatment of Paul was in error (Acts 23:5). It is a serious matter to "touch" God's anointed — either with our words or our actions. Imperfect as they may sometimes be, they are His representatives. "He permitted no one to do them wrong; Yes, He reproved kings for their sakes, Saying, "Do not touch My anointed ones, And do My prophets no harm" (Psa. 105:14-15).

If a minister has done you wrong in some way, don't incriminate yourself by responding in an unbiblical manner — don't lash out against him, retaliate with rumors against him, or run him down behind his back. You should go and confront him privately according to the scriptural fashion described in Matthew 18:15-17. If the first and second attempts do not bring a resolution, take the matter to the spiritual body, such as the church board, or denominational overseers to whom he is accountable — any correction or discipline should be left to them. Keep in mind, an accusation against a minister is a serious matter and will not be accepted unless the matter can be substantiated by other witnesses (1 Tim. 5:19).

When things are not as they should be in the church or with its leadership, there are honorable ways to help promote improvements or resolve inequities. However, it's unethical to oppose the church or attack its leadership, and persons who do will likely end up hurt, bitter or possibly worse.

(10) Be committed to forthrightness and truth. "Moreover if your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he hears you, you have gained your brother. "But if he will not hear you, take with you one or two more, that by the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established. And if he refuses to hear them, tell it to the church. But if he refuses even to hear the church, let him be to you like a heathen and a tax collector" (Matt. 18:15-17).

When someone has wronged you, Jesus says that you are to first go to them and confront them privately between yourselves. Most offenses in the church result from misunderstandings, and many could be quickly resolved if offended parties would just go to the source and find out the facts. Unfortunately, some offended people will just absorb the offense silently, while growing bitter and resentful. It is important to God, and a matter of obedience to His Word, that such issues are confronted so that:

(1) you will not become bitter and withdraw from the church,

(2) that the offender is held accountable to not repeat his offenses which could harm the faith of others, and

(3) so that the offender who has perpetrated sin might be reconciled with God. If they are uncooperative with your first private effort, you are to try a second time, taking witnesses with you. Finally, if no success, turn it over to church leadership.

You should never take one side of a story and accept it as fact without verifying it with the other party. There are always two sides to a story. The scriptures address this very problem, that before we believe a rumor, we are to investigate thoroughly, to verify all the facts. "...then you shall inquire, search out, and ask diligently... if it is indeed true and certain that such an abomination was committed among you..." (Deut. 13:14).

Without doubt, it is not possible to have a relationship with a group of people without occasional misunderstandings and offenses. And unless you will commit yourself to confront these issues in the way Jesus described, you will become hurt in the church.

(11) Be devoted to love and forgiveness. "He who loves his brother abides in the light, and there is no cause for stumbling in him" (1 John 2:10).

Christians will avoid a lot of problems if they will just commit themselves to an unconditional love for their brethren. The practice of loving the brethren — all the brethren, not just the lovable ones — keeps us from stumbling. Never forget that Jesus takes personally how we entreat our Christian brothers and sisters. When we love even the "least" of our brethren, Jesus accepts that love toward Himself (Matt. 25:40). You cannot love the Lord any more than you love the least in the body of Christ. "If someone says, I love God, and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen, how can he love God whom he has not seen?" (1 John 4:20).

Be quick to forgive and don't hold grudges. Unforgiveness and bitterness is one of the greatest reasons why people get hurt in the church and probably the greatest cause of apostasy — falling away. Remember that unforgiveness is one of your greatest enemies. If you refuse to forgive, it will prevent God's forgiveness of your sins and could keep you out of Heaven. "For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses" (Matt. 6:14-15).

(12) Don't get caught up in the offenses of others. "Lord, who may abide in Your tabernacle? Who may dwell in Your holy hill? He who walks uprightly, And works righteousness, And speaks the truth in his heart; He who does not backbite with his tongue, Nor does evil to his neighbor, Nor does he take up a reproach against his friend" (Psa. 15:1-3).

One of the great characteristics of the body of Christ is to care about the burdens and sufferings of one another. However, as we seek to console and encourage friends that have been offended, we may be tempted to take up their offense against another. In sympathy, we may tend to take their part against the pastor, the church or whoever they blame for the offense. This is very unwise and an unscriptural thing to do, considering that your friend may be the cause of his own offense. His hurt feelings may be due to a misunderstanding, a difference of opinion, his own rebellious attitude, emotional instability — or he may be childish and immature. There are always two sides to a story, and only an idiot develops an opinion based on one side or without all the facts.

Sometimes offended persons will seek sympathy from naive, listening ears. They go about pleading their case, pouring out their bleeding-heart of injustice to those sincere, tenderhearted persons who will listen. Their goal is to seek out persons who will coddle them, support their opinion and take up their offense against the offending party. You should love and encourage a friend with hurt feelings, but reserve your opinion and avoid taking sides, lest you find yourself a partaker in other men's sins, or you also become offended and hurt with the church.

(13) Don't personalize everything that's preached. Obviously, every pastor preaches with the hope that everyone will take the message personally and apply it to his or her own life. "If the shoe fits, wear it." However, there are always a few who think the minister is pointing his sermon specifically at them. This is a common misunderstanding which causes persons to get hurt.

This feeling of personal focus from a sermon may occur if persons are
(1) under conviction about a particular matter,
(2) especially self-conscious,
(3) under emotional distress,
(4) if they spend a lot of time counseling with the pastor, or
(5) if he has previously corrected them or hurt their feelings in some way.

Keep in mind, a pulpit preacher doesn't focus his attention solely upon one person. His concern is for the broad range of people in attendance.

Occasionally persons think their pastor focuses on them, the same way they focus on him. When a pastor stands in front of a congregation week after week, they develop a feeling of close friendship with him — they come to know personal details of his life, his family, and other traits. However, even if the pastor knows each person in his flock, it's not really possible for him to concentrate on each with the same detail that they do on him. It's easy for dozens of people to know him well, but not realistic for him to know dozens of people in the same way. Consequently, some develop the illusion that the pastor focuses on them when he preaches — that he remembers their personal details in the same way they remember his. But the pastor has too many other people to consider. He counsels with dozens of people, hears scores of similar problems and details. It's not likely he will single someone out and preach at them, while trying to minister to the whole congregation. If there's something specific that the pastor needs to say only to you, he will deliver it to you personally, in private — not in subtle hints from his sermon.

Besides this, it is the job of the Holy Spirit to personalize God's Word to us — so that we'll examine ourselves and search our own hearts. When the Lord is dealing with us about His Word, it may seem like the pastor is speaking directly to us. Sometimes the Holy Spirit may even direct the preacher to unwittingly say things that may pertain specifically to us. The best attitude to have is to listen to each message objectively. In every sermon from the Bible, God has something to say to all of us. Be open to whatever the Lord would have to say, willing to accept His correction or guidance. Defensiveness is usually a sign of resistance to conviction.

Years ago, while in seminary, I was introduced to a book entitled, “What People Ask about the Church,” by Dale A. Robbins, and I still use it today.

Brother Robbins book has blessed me highly in the incumbencies of my life.

Thank you dear brother Robbins.

A Friend....

It is easy to say we love God when that love doesn’t cost us anything more than weekly attendance at religious services. But the real test of our love for God is how we treat the people right in front of us. We cannot truly love God while neglecting to love those who are created in his image.

(A)ccepts you as you are
(B)elieves in you
(C)alls you just to say..."Hi"
(D)oes NOT give up on you
(E)nvisions the whole of you (even the unfinished parts)
(F)orgives your mistakes
(G)ives unconditionally
(H)elps you
(I)nvites you over
(J)ust to be with you.
(K)eeps you close at heart
(L)oves you for who you are
(M)akes a difference in your life
(N)ever Judges
(O)ffers support
(P)icks you up when you're down
(Q)uiets your fears
(R)aises your spirits
(S)ays nice things about you
(T)ells you the truth when you need it
(U)nderstands you
(V)alues you
(W)alks beside you
(X)-plains things you do not understand
(Y)ells when you will not listen and
(Z)aps you back to reality

If a man say, I love God, and hateth his brother, he is a liar: for he that loveth not his brother whom he hath seen, how can he love God whom he hath not seen? 1 John 4:20

PS. What a friend we have in Jesus...

No better friend I know.

RENEWING YOUR MIND

The Word of God says thus,

"I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service. And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God." ~ Romans 12:1-2

And it also says,

"And be renewed in the spirit of your mind; And that ye put on the new man, which after God is created in righteousness and true holiness." ~ Ephesians 4:23-24

And so...

In order to be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God you’ve got to get rid of (Put Off) your pessimistic way of thinking and study the Word of God prayerfully daily in order to attain (Put On) an optimistic way of thinking. I know it’s easier to say than do but if we “WWJD.” (Walk with Jesus Daily) we’d learn through Him (The Living Word) His way of thinking.

Then the next time you ask yourself, “WWJD?” (What would Jesus Do?) You’ll know that enough is truly not enough because Jesus’ way of thinking will provide you with a more than enough mentality and way of living. Therefore, your way of thinking will be transformed from a carnal mind (conformed to the world) to a spiritual mind from a drifty, condemned and spacey mind to a renewed mind which is fellowship with God-minded controlled (thinking of God's promises and thoughts).

My dear brothers and sisters in Christ, our real struggle with sin is exposed each and every single time we bounce it against the Word of God. Jesus pointed out what kind of lives would be required of his followers in the way He lived His life here on earth.

Are you living as Jesus taught?

Allow me to rightly divide it for you with six simple verses from the Logos, like so: It’s not enough to avoid killing, we must also avoid anger and hatred (Matthew 5:21-22 - Murder). It’s not enough to Offer regular gifts with God and others we must also have right relationships (Matthew 5:23-26 – Offerings). It’s not enough to avoid adultery; we must also Keep our hearts from lusting and be faithful, (Matthew 5:27-30 - Adultery). It’s not enough to be legally married; we must also live out our marriage commitments, (Matthew 5:31-32 - Divorce). It’s not enough to make an oath we must also avoid casual and irresponsible commitments to God (Matthew 5:33-37 - Oaths). It’s not enough to seek justice for ourselves we must also Show mercy and love to others (Matthew 5:38-47 - Revenge). You see, we are, more often than not, guilty of avoiding the extreme sins while regularly committing the types of sins with which Jesus was most concerned.

Still confused? (Too much meat)

Good news, I’ve “Got milk?” (Simplified)

It’s as simple a moving an object from “Point A” to “Point B”, or “From and to” not “not to and fro”

Here’s how as follow:

From a Unbelief Minded to a Faith/Victory Minded
From a Carnally Ruled to a Disciplined
From a Worldly Minded to a Reward Minded (seeking God with our thoughts)
From a Lazy Mind to a Word-Conscious Mind
From a Sin Minded to a Righteousness Minded
From a Weak-Willed to a Strong and Determined
From a Grudge Minded to a Forgiveness Minded
From a Passive to a Optimistic
From a Revenge Minded to a Love Minded
From a Idle to a Retrained
From a Un-Worked to a Reprogrammed
From a Self-Pleasing, People-Pleasing Minded to a God Pleasing Minded
From a Untrained to a Jesus minded (praise thoughts and thankful minded)
From a Negative to a Positive/Hopeful
From a Failure Conscious to a Success Conscious
From a Defeated to a Victorious
From a Distracted to a Focused
From a Unstable to a Stable
From a Griping, Critical and Judgmental Minded to a Restructured (both intellectually and emotionally)

And in doing so you’ll be transformed from a devil-controlled mind and into a God-controlled mind (God-controlled mind that supports your spirit man in your walk with God)

Amen.

I'M NOT YOUR SUPERMAN

Lately, I’ve been nursing a series of all time lows that has caused emotional woundedness in my life. It’s been five years since I lost my best friend… mama. And though I’ve been handling it well for all those years, I miss her. And with all that pain buried deep down inside, life goes on. I continue to go on with life the same way Clark Kent did. He lives that portion of his life acting in hopes that people would see him as a human being with all our frailties.

But unlike Clark Kent, some Preachers have to walk a fine line. I’m not talking about the fine line of ideological conformity, or ecclesiastical practices, procedures and protocols. I’m talking about the fine line of being perfect in the sight of everyone. A line that says it’s impossible for a preacher to fall or become capable of making mistakes, be super invulnerable to heartbreaks, never ever be discouraged or suffer disappoints, and will never be capable of being broken down by abuse, anger, disrespect.

Recently, I’ve lost my job as an agent and advisor for a highly successful insurance company. As a matter of fact, the number one life insurance company in the entire U. S. of A. All simply because I trusted a person in a church whom I placed too much trust in. I stressed the importance of a decision being made by a deadline that would cause me to be terminated of my dream job and livelihood. It truly has affected my livelihood as well as my loved ones. I waited for a simple returned call, email or even a text message and received none. Even in the midst of being in the same vicinity, he never said a word. It was as if he just didn’t care. It was such an uncomfortable feeling to be in his vicinity without the visitation of emotions I was not proud of. So I decided to take a little time off and away from the source of my anger.

Out of that experience arrived days, weeks and months I wanted so badly to become a recluse. Get away from everything and everybody. I was too easily angered with any and every body including those I loved the most. I refused to go to church services, meetings, receive calls. Those close to me who at one time thought I could never do wrong. I was their superman. I then realize the key to all my recent pain was one I didn’t have to go through if I only gave it all to God. God took me way, way back in the day during the nineteen-sixties in my beloved hometown of Brooklyn where I first took notice of my hero, my superman, my brother Ernest.

Growing up, I remember how much Ernest loved Superman simply because he was so strong. I looked up to my brother back in those good old days and continue to do so today because of his intelligence, strength and a heavy dose of charisma. Ernest was full of energy and had a very, very magnetic personality. But there came various days in his life when his little brother witnessed, unbeknownst to him that he, “The Great Ernesto” was not super human, nor superman but only human.

My hero was vulnerable to heartbreaks, discouragements, disappointments, abuse, anger, disrespect and so much more. And even though I painfully witness those weak areas in his life, he was still my hero. The way he handled those kryptonite moments of life helps me today during those kryptonite moments in my life today as a preacher. God does not expect us to be supermen and superwomen. He simply wants us to do the possible so He in turn will take care of the impossible.

Quite a few Preachers, Pastors, Ministers and Elders of the Gospel at times are held up high on a pedestal but we must all come to the realization that no matter how magnetic, energetic, intelligent or charismatic some can be, they are all only human. They are vulnerable to heartbreaks, discouragements, disappointments, abuse, anger, disrespect and so much more.

Clark Kent fooled people sometimes, but his vulnerability was just an act. Underneath was the man of steel. Superman came to help people who were weak and needy; but he himself was never afraid, never confused. Superman never joined a twelve-step recovery group, even though he had lost both his biological parents and the planet he had called home. He never joined a lonely hearts club, although he was always alone. He never got into therapy, even though he wore blue tights, a yellow belt, some red boots and a red cape beneath his regular clothes.

So many people assume preachers are invincible. We must realize they are just men and women who are also tempted and are highly vulnerable as prime targets of the devil. Sin is also in their nature. You add that and the vicious attacks they get, it all adds up.

Preachers, pastors, and Bible teachers are on the front lines of a war. It is our responsibility to help them. We can do that in a very simple way. It's called prayer. Speaking of prayer, when was the last time you prayed for your Pastor, a Preacher, an Elder or a Minister of the Gospel?

I was reading some blogs and ran across some figures that were very upsetting. Take a look at some of this: Focus on the Family, and other respected organizations:

•80% of pastors believe pastoral ministry has negatively affected their families. Many Pastor’s children do not attend church now because of what the church has done to their parents.

•90% of Pastors feel they are inadequately trained to cope with the demands of ministry.

•70% say they have a lower self-image now than when they first started.

•Only 1 out of every 10 ministers will actually retire as a Minister in some form.

•The profession of Pastor is near the bottom of a survey of the most-respected professions.

•Over 4,000 churches closed in America last year. That’s more than 10 every single day.

•Many denominations report an “empty pulpit crisis”. They cannot find ministers willing to fill positions.

•More than 50% of all pastors are so discouraged that they regularly consider leaving the ministry.

•80% of seminary and Bible school graduates who enter the ministry will leave the ministry within the first five years.

•85% of Pastors said their greatest struggle is dealing with problem people such as disgruntled members, disgruntled Elders, disgruntled Deacons, disgruntled worship leaders, disgruntled worship teams, disgruntled board members, and disgruntled associate Pastors.

•90% said the ministry was completely different than what they thought it would be before they began.

•80% of Pastors’ wives feel left out and unappreciated by the church members.

•80% of Pastors’ wives wish their spouse would choose another profession.

•50% of Pastors’ marriages will end in divorce.

•70% of Pastors constantly fight depression.

With these figures, who would want to Pastor a church?

Anyone that does has got to care about mankind. There have been some great pastors that have sinned and been shunned completely from society. But we go on and sin and it's ok. I don't get it.
I give honor to the Pastors, preachers, ministers and teachers in my life (the good ones as well as the ones who weren't). As a preacher I too must admit that the amount of time we spend in what most folks give too much glory to, (The Pulpit) is but 5% or less of where we are used by the Lord.

To fill the job description of today’s Pastor sounds like a job for Superman. A pastor is expected to make house calls as willingly as yesterday’s country doctor, to shake hands and smile like a politician on the campaign trail, to entertain like a stand-up comedian, to teach the Scriptures like a theology professor, and to counsel like a psychologist with the wisdom of Solomon. He should run the church like a top-level business executive, handle finances like a career accountant, and deal with the public like an expert diplomat at the United Nations. No wonder so many pastors are confused about just what is expected of them and how they will ever manage to live up to all those expectations. People also forget about all visitations to the prisons, jails, hospitals, clinics, schools, the suicide attempt or so and so died phone calls in the wee hours, running a church, recruiting, motivating, administering, organizer of nurturing relationships and the list goes on and on and on.

I ask that you please keep them in your prayers. Also their families, they need it; take another look at the figures above and take in how real it is.

I pray you would position all preachers of the Gospel on your prayer list. If it seems like the list is too long choose a few names a day or a group per week but please do pray for these brothers and sisters of the pulpit. I promise you that the Lord would be mightily pleased and will bless you for it in abundance. Thank you.

PS. Please pray for me as well, I am human as well and know that no one will ever live in this walk not needing prayer.

Thank you and God bless you.