R.E.S.P.E.C.T.

My dear brothers and sisters, there are many barriers that can divide us from other Christians: age, appearance, intelligence, political persuasion, economic status, race, theological perspective and respect. One of the best ways to stifle Christ’s love is to be friendly with only those people that we like or to just one gender. Fortunately, Christ has knocked down the barriers and has unified all believers in one family. His cross should be the focus of our unity. The Holy Spirit helps us look beyond the barriers to the unity we are called to enjoy. God forms and equips men and women for various tasks, but all these tasks lead to the same goal—honoring God. Man gives life to woman; woman gives life to the world. Each role carries exclusive privileges; there is no room for thinking that one sex is superior to the other. Let's (bloggers) be mindful of our cyberlistic actions, as man and women of God we must show all people of all genders appropriate respect and I believe we may at time have gone overboard with the affections in word. How then can we do this great wickedness, and sin against God? Someone may see it and be misled; therefore all who are guilty, simply apologize to those offended. My dear brothers and sisters, just as Potiphar’s wife failed to seduce Joseph, who resisted this temptation by saying it would be a sin against God, we must do likewise. Joseph didn’t say, “I’d be hurting you,” or “I’d be sinning against Potiphar,” or “I’d be sinning against myself.” Under pressure, such excuses are easily rationalized away. Remember that sexual sin is not just between two consenting adults. It is an act of disobedience against God. I give you all, my love but most of all, I give you all respect.

There is none greater in this house than I; neither hath he kept back any thing from me but thee, because thou art his wife: how then can I do this great wickedness, and sin against God? Genesis 39:9 (KJV)

NOW THAT I AM SAVED...

1. My salvation is fully accomplished (John 19:30).
2. I have eternal life as a present possession (John 5:24; 6:47; 1 John 5:11-13).
3. I have Jesus Christ as my present possession (1 John 5:12).
4. I know the one, true God (John 17:3; 1 John 2:3; 5:20).
5. I have been saved by His grace (Eph. 2:1-10).
6. I have been justified by His grace (Tit. 3:7).
7. I have passed from death unto life (John 5:24; 1 John 3:14).
8. I have been quickened (made alive) by God (Eph. 2:1,5; Col. 2:13).
9. I have been made fit for heaven (Col. 1:12).
10. I have the forgiveness of sins (Eph. 1:7; Col. 1:14).
11. My sins have been taken away (John 1:29; Heb. 9:26; 1 John 3:5).
12. My sins have been completely purged (Heb. 1:3).
13. My sins will never be remembered by God (Heb. 8:12; 10:17).
14. I have been washed (1 Cor. 6:11; Tit. 3:5; Rev. 1:5).
15. I will walk with Christ in white (Rev. 3:4-5).
16. I have been healed by His stripes (1 Pet. 2:24).
17. I have been forgiven all trespasses (Col. 2:13; 1 John 2:12).
18. I have been fully justified (Rom. 4:5; 8:30; 1 Cor. 6:11; Gal. 2:16; Tit. 3:7).
19. I am reconciled to God (2 Cor. 5:18-19; Col. 1:20).
20. I am made nigh by the blood of Christ (Eph. 2:13).
21. I am redeemed through His blood (1 Pet. 1:18,19; Eph. 1:7; Col. 1:14).
22. I am redeemed from the curse of the law (Gal. 3:13).
23. I am redeemed from all iniquity or lawlessness (Titus 2:14).
24. I am bought with a price (1 Cor. 6:20; 7:23).
25. I am delivered from so great a death (2 Cor. 1:10).
26. I have been delivered from this present evil world or age (Gal. 1:4).
27. I have been delivered from the power of darkness (Col. 1:13).
28. I have been delivered from the wrath to come (1 Thess. 1:10).
29. I will not come into condemnation or judgment (John 5:24; Rom. 8:1).
30. I am a child of God (John 1:12; Rom. 8:16; Gal. 3:26; 1 John 3:1,2).
31. I am a son of God (Gal. 4:5-7).
32. I belong to Jesus Christ (Gal. 3:29; 5:24).
33. I have been adopted (Gal. 4:5; Rom. 8:15,23).
34. I am an heir of God and joint-heir with Christ (Rom. 8:17; Tit. 3:7).
35. I am an heir of the grace of life (1 Pet. 3:7).
36. All things are mine (1 Cor. 3:21-23).
37. I possess all things (2 Cor. 6:10).
38. I will inherit all things (Rev. 21:7).
39. I am enriched by Christ in everything (1 Cor. 1:5; 2 Cor. 9:11).
40. I am a fellow heir (Eph. 3:6).
41. I am rich because of Christ (2 Cor. 8:9; Rev. 2:9).
42. I am blessed with every spiritual blessing (Eph. 1:3).
43. I have obtained an inheritance (Eph. 1:11,14; Heb. 1:14; 9:15; 1 Pet. 1:4).
44. I have been appointed to obtain salvation (1 Thess. 5:9; Heb. 1:14).
45. I am His inheritance (Eph. 1:18).
46. I am a partaker of His promise in Christ by the gospel (Eph. 3:6).
47. I am a new creature (creation) in Christ (2 Cor. 5:17; Eph. 2:10; 4:24; Col. 3:10).
48. I have been renewed by the Holy Spirit (Tit. 3:5).
49. I am accepted and highly favored in the Beloved One (Eph. 1:6; cf. Matt. 3:17).
50. I have been seated in heavenly places with Christ (Eph. 2:6).
51. I am to the praise of His glory (Eph. 1:6,12).
52. I am light in the Lord (Eph. 5:8).
53. I am a child of light (Eph. 5:8; 1 Thess. 5:5).
54. I am a "peculiar person," even God's special, purchased possession (Tit. 2:14; 1 Pet.2:9).
55. I am a priest who can offer spiritual sacrifices (Heb. 13:15-16; 1 Pet. 2:5,9; Rev. 1:6; 5:10;20:6).
56. I am a king who will reign (Rev. 1:6; 5:10; 20:6).
57. I am privileged to have fellowship with the Father and with the Son (1 John 1:3).
58. I dwell in Christ (John 6:56; 1 John 3:24; 4:13,15,16).
59. Christ dwells in me (John 6:56; Gal. 2:20; 1 John 3:24; 4:12-16).
60. I am in Christ (John 14:20; 2 Cor. 5:17).
61. Christ is in me (John 14:20; Col. 1:27; Rom. 8:10; 1 John 4:4).62. The Spirit of God dwells in me (Rom. 8:9; 1 Cor. 3:16; Eph. 2:21-22).
62. The Spirit of God dwells (John 6:56; Gal. 2:20; 1 John 3:24; 4:12-16).
63. I am not in the flesh but in the Spirit (Rom. 8:9).
64. My "earthen vessel" houses a great Treasure (2 Cor. 4:7).
65. My body is the temple of the Holy Spirit (1 Cor. 6:19).
66. I have been blest with the gift and pledge of the Holy Spirit (2 Cor. 1:22; Gal. 4:6; Eph. 1:13-14; 1 Thess. 4:8; Tit. 3:6; 1 John 3:24; 4:13).
67. I have an anointing (unction) from the Holy One (1 John 2:20,27).
68. I am one of the "called" of Jesus Christ (Rom. 1:6; 8:28-30; Jude 1; Rev. 17:14).
69. I have been called unto the fellowship of God's Son (1 Cor. 1:9).
70. I have been called unto eternal glory (1 Pet. 5:10).
71. I have been called with a holy calling (2 Tim. 1:9).
72. I am a partaker of the high, heavenly calling (Phil. 3:14; Heb. 3:1).
73. I have been called out of darkness into His marvelous light (1 Pet. 2:9).
74. God foreknew me (Rom. 8:29; 1 Pet. 1:2).
75. God predestined me to be conformed to Christ's image (Rom. 8:29; Eph. 1:5,11).
76. I have already been glorified according to God's mind and purpose (Rom. 8:30).
77. I am eternally secure in God's love (Rom. 8:38-39).
78. I am chosen in Christ (Eph. 1:4; Col. 3:12; 1 Thess. 1:4; 1 Pet. 2:9; Rev. 17:14).
79. I have been chosen to salvation (2 Thess. 2:13).
80. I am complete in Christ (Col. 2:10).
81. I am beloved of God (Col. 3:12; 2 Thess. 2:13).
82. I am chastened and disciplined by my Heavenly Father (Heb. 12:6-7).
83. I am part of that group that Christ is not ashamed to call His "brethren" and "friends" (Heb. 2:11; John 15:14-15).
84. I am a child of Abraham (Gal. 3:7).
85. I am Abraham's seed (Gal. 3:29).
86. I enjoy the blessing of Abraham (Gal. 3:9).
87. I am a child of promise (Gal. 4:28,31).
88. I am faithful (Rev. 17:14).
89. I am a sheep in His flock (Luke 12:32; Heb. 13:20; 1 Pet. 2:25).
90. I am a member of His body (1 Cor. 10:17; 12:27; Eph. 3:6; 4:25; 5:30).
91. I am a stone in His building (Eph. 2:20-22; Heb. 3:6; 1 Pet. 2:5).
92. I am a branch in the Vine (John 15:1-7).
93. I am a child of the kingdom (Matt. 13:38; compare Mark 10:14-15).
94. I am born again into His family (John 1:12-13; James 1:18; 1 Pet. 1:3,23; 2:2; 1 John 5:1).
95. I am one of God's people because He graciously claims me as His own (1 Pet. 2:10; Rev. 21:7).
96. I am a fellow citizen with the saints (Eph. 2:19).
97. I was baptized into Jesus Christ (Rom. 6:3; Gal. 3:27).
98. I was identified with Christ in His death (Rom. 6:3-6,8-11; 2 Cor. 5:14; Col. 2:12,20; 3:3).
99. I was identified with Christ in His resurrection (Rom. 6:5,8,11; 2 Cor. 5:15; Gal. 2:20; Col. 2:12; 3:1).
100. I died to sin (Rom. 6:2).
101. My "old man" was crucified with Christ (Rom. 6:6).
102. I have been crucified with Christ (Gal. 2:20).
103. I have crucified the flesh with its affections and lusts (Gal. 5:24).
104. I am alive unto God (Rom. 6:11,13; Gal. 2:19,20).
105. Christ is my life (Phil. 1:21; Col. 3:4).
106. I can walk in newness of life (Rom. 6:4).
107. I can serve in newness of spirit (Rom. 7:6).
108. I can live unto righteousness (1 Pet. 2:24).
109. I died to the law (Rom. 7:4; Gal. 2:19).
110. I am delivered from the law (Rom. 7:6).
111. I am not under the law but under grace (Rom. 6:14).
112. I have God's laws written in my heart (Heb. 10:16).
113. I am married to Jesus Christ (Rom. 7:4).
114. I am a partaker of Christ (Heb. 3:14).
115. I am identified with Christ in His suffering (2 Tim. 2:12; Phil. 1:29; 1 Pet. 2:20; 4:12-13; 1 Thess. 3:3; Rom. 8:18; Col. 1:24).
116. The knowledge of God is made known by me (2 Cor. 2:14).
117. The savor (aroma) of Christ is made known by me (2 Cor. 2:15-16).
118. I am an epistle of Christ (2 Cor. 3:3).
119. I am being changed into Christ's glorious image (2 Cor. 3:18).
120. I am being perfected (Phil. 1:6).
121. My inward man is being renewed day by day (2 Cor. 4:16).
122. I have put on Christ (Gal. 3:27).
123. I am not of the world (John 17:14,16).
124. The world is crucified unto me (Gal. 6:14).
125. I am crucified unto the world (Gal. 6:14).
126. I am separated unto the gospel of God (Rom. 1:1).
127. I am set apart and sanctified in Christ Jesus (1 Cor. 1:2; 6:11; Heb. 10:10; Jude 1).
128. I am holy (Col. 3:12; Heb. 3:1; 1 Pet. 2:9; Rev. 20:6).
129. I am clothed in His righteousness (Rev. 19:8).
130. I am a saint (1 Cor. 1:2; Phil. 1:1; Col. 1:2; Rom. 1:7).
131. I am faultless in Christ (Eph. 5:27; Col. 1:22; Jude 24).
132. I am perfected forever (Heb. 10:14).
133. I am not my own (1 Cor. 6:19).
134. I am called unto holiness (1 Thess. 4:7).
135. I am a citizen of heaven (Phil. 3:20).
136. I am a stranger and pilgrim who is not at home in this world (Heb. 11:13; 1 Pet. 2:11).
137. I have been translated into the kingdom of the Son of His love (Col. 1:13).
138. I am circumcised in my heart (Col. 2:11; Phil 3:3; compare Deut. 10:16).
139. My faithful God will sanctify me wholly (1 Thess. 5:23-24).
140. My faithful God will keep me from evil (2 Thess. 3:3; 2 Tim. 4:18).
141. Christ has made me free, free indeed (John 8:32-36; Gal. 5:1; 1 Cor. 7:22).
142. Jesus Christ is my Deliverer (Rom. 7:24-25).
143. I am free from sin (Rom. 6:7,18,22).
144. The law of the Spirit of Life has made me free from the law of sin and death (Rom. 8:2).
145. I am God's servant or slave (Rom. 6:22).
146. I am Christ's servant or slave (1 Cor. 7:22).
147. I am a servant or slave of righteousness (Rom. 6:18).
148. I have been called unto liberty (Gal. 5:13).
149. I have the mind of Christ (1 Cor. 2:16).
150. I have a sound mind (2 Tim. 1:7).
151. Christ has given me an understanding (1 John 5:20).
152. I have the righteousness of Christ (2 Cor. 5:21).
153. I have all sufficiency in all things (2 Cor. 9:8).
154. I have all things that pertain to life and godliness (2 Pet. 1:3).
155. I can ever be content for I have Christ (Heb. 13:5).
156. I have all the armor and weapons I need (2 Cor. 10:4; Eph. 6:10-17).
157. I have God's all-sufficient grace (2 Cor. 12:9).
158. I have grace to help in time of need (Heb. 4:16).
159. I have God's power (Eph. 1:19; 3:20).
160. I have access to the Father (Eph. 2:18; Heb. 4:16).
161. I have a great High Priest (Heb. 2:17-18; 3:1; 4:14-16; 8:1; 10:21).
162. I have an unfailing Intercessor (Heb. 7:25; 9:24; Rom. 8:34).
163. I have a righteous Advocate with the Father for times when I sin (1 John 2:1).
164. I have peace with God (Rom. 5:1).
165. Christ is my peace (Eph. 2:14).
166. I have rest for my soul (Matt. 11:28-29; Heb. 4:9).
167. I am led by the Spirit of God (Rom. 8:14).
168. I am enabled during trials and temptations (1 Cor. 10:13).
169. I am given assurance by the Spirit (Rom. 8:16; Heb. 6:18).
170. I am given comfort by God (2 Cor. 1:3-7).
171. I am tranquilized by His peace (Phil. 4:7).
172. I am freely given truth and knowledge by the Spirit (1 Cor. 2:12).
173. I am not distressed (2 Cor. 4:8).
174. I am not in despair (2 Cor. 4:8).
175. I am not forsaken (2 Cor. 4:9).
176. I am not in darkness (1 Thess. 5:4).
177. God is my Sufficiency (2 Cor. 3:5).
178. God is my Strength (2 Cor. 12:9-10; Phil. 4:13).
179. God is my Helper (Heb. 13:6).
180. I belong to a Sovereign God who works all things together for my good (Rom. 8:28).
181. All things are for my sake (2 Cor. 4:15).
182. My God is for me (Rom. 8:31).
183. My every need is supplied (Phil. 4:19).
184. I am a laborer together with Christ (1 Cor. 3:9; 2 Cor. 6:1).
185. I am His workmanship (Eph. 2:10).
186. God works in me (Phil. 2:13; Heb. 13:21).
187. God's Word works in me (1 Thess. 2:13).
188. I am sealed by God (2 Cor. 1:22; Eph. 1:13).
189. I am on the Rock, Christ Jesus (Matt. 16:18; 1 Cor. 3:11).
190. I am established securely in Christ (2 Cor. 1:21; 2 Thess. 3:3).
191. I am kept by the power of God (1 Pet. 1:5).
192. I am preserved in Jesus Christ (Jude 1).
193. I am kept from falling (Jude 24).
194. I have a building of God eternal in the heavens (2 Cor. 5:1).
195. My name is forever written in heaven (Luke 10:20).
196. I am more than a conqueror, even a super-conqueror (Rom. 8:37).
197. I have victory through Christ (1 Cor. 15:57).
198. I have overcome the world (1 John 5:4-5).
199. I always triumph in Christ (2 Cor. 2:14).
200. I am indwelt by the victorious Christ who is greater than Satan (1 John 4:4).
201. Satan cannot touch me (1 John 5:18).
202. I have a living hope (1 Pet. 1:3).
203. I have a glorious future (Rom. 8:18; 2 Thess. 2:14).
204. I have been given eternal encouragement and good hope through grace (2 Thess. 2:16).
205. I will be preserved unto His heavenly kingdom (2 Tim. 4:18).
206. I am receiving a kingdom which cannot be moved (Heb. 12:28).
207. I have a place reserved in heaven for me (John 14:2,3; 1 Pet. 1:4).
208. I will eat of the tree of life (Rev. 2:7).
209. I will not be hurt of the second death (Rev. 2:11; 20:6).
210. I will have a new name (Rev. 2:17; 3:12).
211. I will have power over the nations (Rev. 2:26; 5:10).
212. I will not have my name blotted out of the book of life (Rev. 3:5).
213. I will be a pillar in God's temple (Rev. 3:12).
214. I will sit with Christ in His throne (Rev. 3:21).
215. I will be with my God forever (Rev. 21:3-4).

BEFORE I WAS SAVED...

1. I was on the broad way (road) leading to destruction (Matthew 7:13).
2. I was lost (Luke 19:10; 2 Corinthians 4:3).
3. I was condemned already because of my unbelief (John 3:18; compare 1 Corinthians 11:32).
4. I was a lover of darkness (John 3:19).
5. I was under God's abiding wrath (John 3:36) awaiting God's coming wrath (Luke 3:7; Ephesians 5:6; Colossians 3:6).
6. I was an ignorant worshipper (John 4:22).
7. I was an evildoer deserving judgment (John 5:29; compare 3 John 11).
8. I was of the world and from below or beneath (John 8:23).
9. I was yet in my sins (John 8:21,24; compare John 20:23).
10. I was a child of the devil (John 8:44).
11. I was a Christ-rejecter (John 12:48).
12. I was a Christ-hater (John 15:18) and a hater of those belonging to Christ (John 17:14).
13. I was under the power of Satan (Acts 26:18; 1 John 5:19).
14. I was unthankful, not giving honor to God (Romans 1:21).
15. I was unrighteous (Romans 1:29-31; 3:10; 1 Corinthians 6:9-10).
16. I was under sin (Romans 3:9) and sin-sick (Luke 5:31-32).
17. I was unprofitable (Romans 3:12; compare Philemon 11).
18. I was without the fear of God (Romans 3:18).
19. I was guilty before God (Romans 3:19).
20. I was a sinner (Romans 3:23; 5:8).
21. I was without strength (Romans 5:6).
22. I was ungodly (Romans 5:6; 4:5).
23. I was God's enemy (Romans 5:10; Colossians 1:21).
24. I was a servant (slave) of sin (Romans 6:17,20; John 8:34).
25. I was deserving of death (Romans 6:23; compare 2 Thessalonians 1:8-9).
26. I was in the flesh (Romans 7:5; 8:8).
27. I was in danger of perishing (1 Corinthians 1:18; 2 Corinthians 2:15; Luke 13:3,5).
28. I was a natural man who considered the things of God as foolishness (1 Corinthians 1:18; 2:14).
29. I was under God's curse (1 Corinthians 16:22).
30. I was blinded by the god of this age (2 Corinthians 4:4).
31. I was part of this present evil world (Galatians 1:4).
32. I was dead in trespasses and sins (Ephesians 2:1,5; Colossians 2:13).
33. I was walking according to the course of Satan's world (Ephesians 2:2).
34. I was a child of disobedience (Ephesians 2:2).
35. I was a child of wrath (Ephesians 2:3).
36. I was without Christ (Ephesians 2:12).
37. I was an alien from the commonwealth of Israel (Ephesians 2:12).
38. I was a stranger from the covenants of promise (Ephesians 2:12,19).
39. I was one who had no hope (Ephesians 2:12) and no foundation (Luke 6:48).
40. I was without God in the world (Ephesians 2:12).
41. I was far off (Ephesians 2:13).
42. I was walking in the vanity of my mind (Ephesians 4:17).
43. I was one whose understanding was darkened (Ephesians 4:18; Romans 1:21).
44. I was alienated from the life of God (Ephesians 4:18; Colossians 1:21).
45. I was ignorant (Ephesians 4:18).
46. I was blind and hardened (Ephesians 4:18).
47. I was given over to unbridled lust (Ephesians 4:19).
48. I was corrupt according to deceitful lusts (Ephesians 4:22).
49. I was once of the darkness and of the night (Ephesians 5:8; 1 Thessalonians 5:5; 1 John 2:11).
50. I was in the realm and under the power of darkness (Colossians 1:13; Luke 1:79; Acts 26:18).
51. I was one who did not know God (1 Thessalonians 4:5).
52. I was foolish (Titus 3:3; Romans 1:22).
53. I was disobedient (Titus 3:3).
54. I was deceived (Titus 3:3).
55. I was one who served various lusts and pleasures (Titus 3:3).
56. I was one who lived in malice and envy (Titus 3:3).
57. I was one who was hateful and was hating one another (Titus 3:3).
58. I was a sheep who had gone astray (1 Peter 2:25).
59. I was one who lived in the flesh to the lusts of men (1 Peter 4:2).
60. I was one who walked in lasciviousness, lusts, abominable idolatries, etc. (1 Peter 4:3).
61. I was sensual, having not the Spirit (Jude 19).

12 Ways to Love Your Wayward Child

Many parents are brokenhearted and completely baffled by their unbelieving son or daughter. They have no clue why the child they raised well is making such awful, destructive decisions. I’ve never been one of these parents, but I have been one of these sons. Reflecting back on that experience, I offer these suggestions to help you reach out to your wayward child.

1. Point them to Christ. Your rebellious child’s real problem is not drugs or sex or cigarettes or pornography or laziness or crime or cussing or slovenliness or homosexuality or being in a punk rock band. The real problem is that they don’t see Jesus clearly. The best thing you can do for them—and the only reason to do any of the following suggestions—is to show them Christ. It is not a simple or immediate process, but the sins in their life that distress you and destroy them will only begin to fade away when they see Jesus more like he actually is.

2. Pray. Only God can save your son or daughter, so keep on asking that he will display himself to them in a way they can’t resist worshiping him for.

3. Acknowledge that something is wrong. If your daughter rejects Jesus, don’t pretend everything is fine.

For every unbelieving child, the details will be different. Each one will require parents to reach out in unique ways. Never acceptable, however, is not reaching out at all. If your child is an unbeliever, don’t ignore it. Holidays might be easier, but eternity won’t be.

4. Don’t expect them to be Christ-like. If your son is not a Christian, he’s not going to act like one.

You know that he has forsaken the faith, so don’t expect him to live by the standards you raised him with. For example, you might be tempted to say, “I know you’re struggling with believing in Jesus, but can’t you at least admit that getting wasted every day is sin?”

If he’s struggling to believe in Jesus, then there is very little significance in admitting that drunkenness is wrong. You want to protect him, yes. But his unbelief is the most dangerous problem—not partying. No matter how your child’s unbelief exemplifies itself in his behavior, always be sure to focus more on the heart’s sickness than its symptoms.

5. Welcome them home. Because the deepest concern is not your child’s actions, but his heart, don’t create too many requirements for coming home. If he has any inkling to be with you, it is God giving you a chance to love him back to Jesus. Obviously there are some instances in which parents must give ultimatums: “Don’t come to this house if you are...” But these will be rare. Don’t lessen the likelihood of an opportunity to be with your child by too many rules.

If your daughter smells like weed or an ashtray, spray her jacket with Febreze and change the sheets when she leaves, but let her come home. If you find out she’s pregnant, then buy her folic acid, take her to her twenty-week ultrasound, protect her from Planned Parenthood, and by all means let her come home. If your son is broke because he spent all the money you lent him on loose women and ritzy liquor, then forgive his debt as you’ve been forgiven, don’t give him any more money, and let him come home. If he hasn’t been around for a week and a half because he’s been staying at his girlfriend’s—or boyfriend’s—apartment, plead with him not to go back, and let him come home.

6. Plead with them more than you rebuke them. Be gentle in your disappointment.

What really concerns you is that your child is destroying herself, not that she’s breaking rules. Treat her in a way that makes this clear. She probably knows—especially if she was raised as a Christian—that what she’s doing is wrong. And she definitely knows you think it is. So she doesn’t need this pointed out. She needs to see how you are going to react to her evil. Your gentle forbearance and sorrowful hope will show her that you really do trust Jesus.

Her conscience can condemn her by itself. Parents ought to stand kindly and firmly, always living in the hope that they want their child to return to.

7. Connect them to believers who have better access to them. There are two kinds of access that you may not have to your child: geographical and relational. If your wayward son lives far away, try to find a solid believer in his area and ask him to contact your son. This may seem nosy or stupid or embarrassing to him, but it’s worth it—especially if the believer you find can also relate to your son emotionally in a way you can’t.

Relational distance will also be a side effect of your child leaving the faith, so your relationship will be tenuous and should be protected if at all possible. But hard rebuke is still necessary.

This is where another believer who has emotional access to your son may be very helpful. If there is a believer who your son trusts and perhaps even enjoys being around, then that believer has a platform to tell your son—in a way he may actually pay attention to—that he’s being an idiot. This may sound harsh, but it’s a news flash we all need from time to time, and people we trust are usually the only ones who can package a painful rebuke so that it is a gift to us.

A lot of rebellious kids would do well to hear that they’re being fools—and it is rare that this can helpfully be pointed out by their parents—so try to keep other Christians in your kids lives.

8. Respect their friends. Honor your wayward child in the same way you’d honor any other unbeliever. They may run with crowds you’d never consider talking to or even looking at, but they are your child’s friends. Respect that—even if the relationship is founded on sin. They’re bad for your son, yes. But he’s bad for them, too. Nothing will be solved by making it perfectly evident that you don’t like who he’s hanging around with.

When your son shows up for a family birthday celebration with another girlfriend—one you’ve never seen before and probably won’t see again—be hospitable. She’s also someone’s wayward child, and she needs Jesus, too.

9. Email them. Praise God for technology that lets you stay in your kids’ lives so easily!

When you read something in the Bible that encourages you and helps you love Jesus more, write it up in a couple lines and send it to your child. The best exhortation for them is positive examples of Christ’s joy in your own life.

Don’t stress out when you’re composing these as if each one needs to be singularly powerful. Just whip them out one after another, and let the cumulative effect of your satisfaction in God gather up in your child’s inbox. God’s word is never proclaimed in vain.

10. Take them to lunch. If possible, don’t let your only interaction with your child be electronic. Get together with him face to face if you can. You may think this is stressful and uncomfortable, but trust me that it’s far worse to be in the child’s shoes—he is experiencing all the same discomfort, but compounded by guilt. So if he is willing to get together with you for lunch, praise God, and use the opportunity.

It will feel almost hypocritical to talk about his daily life, since what you really care about is his eternal life, but try to anyway. He needs to know you care about all of him. Then, before lunch is over, pray that the Lord will give you the gumption to ask about his soul. You don’t know how he’ll respond. Will he roll his eyes like you’re an idiot? Will he get mad and leave? Or has God been working in him since you talked last? You don’t know until you risk asking.

(Here’s a note to parents of younger children: Set up regular times to go out to eat with your kids. Not only will this be valuable for its own sake, but also, if they ever enter a season of rebellion, the tradition of meeting with them will already be in place and it won’t feel weird to ask them out to lunch. If a son has been eating out on Saturdays with his dad since he was a tot, it will be much harder for him later in life to say no to his father’s invitation—even as a surly nineteen-year-old.)

11. Take an interest in their pursuits. Odds are that if your daughter is purposefully rejecting Christ, then the way she spends her time will probably disappoint you. Nevertheless, find the value in her interests, if possible, and encourage her. You went to her school plays and soccer games when she was ten; what can you do now that she’s twenty to show that you still really care about her interests?

Jesus spent time with tax collectors and prostitutes, and he wasn’t even related to them. Imitate Christ by being the kind of parent who will put some earplugs in your pocket and head downtown to that dank little nightclub where your daughter’s CD release show is. Encourage her and never stop praying that she will begin to use her gifts for Jesus’ glory instead her own.

12. Point them to Christ. This can’t be over-stressed. It is the whole point. No strategy for reaching your son or daughter will have any lasting effect if the underlying goal isn’t to help them know Jesus.

Jesus.

It’s not so that they will be good kids again; it’s not so that they’ll get their hair cut and start taking showers; it’s not so that they’ll like classical music instead of deathcore; it’s not so that you can stop being embarrassed at your weekly Bible study; it’s not so that they’ll vote conservative again by the next election; it’s not even so that you can sleep at night, knowing they’re not going to hell.

The only ultimate reason to pray for them, welcome them, plead with them, email them, eat with them, or take an interest in their interests is so that their eyes will be opened to Christ.

And not only is he the only point—he’s the only hope. When they see the wonder of Jesus, satisfaction will be redefined. He will replace the pathetic vanity of the money, or the praise of man, or the high, or the orgasm that they are staking their eternities on right now. Only his grace can draw them from their perilous pursuits and bind them safely to himself—captive, but satisfied.

He will do this for many. Be faithful and don’t give up.

By John Piper. © Desiring God. Website: desiringGod.org