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Monday, July 31, 2017

“I’m Sorry”…Then What?

Sometimes, saying “Sorry” isn’t enough.

There is an immature and foolish belief held among many that apologizing gets us off the hook — we can simply wipe our hands of the offence and move on.

The truth is that it doesn’t work that way because “bandaids don’t fix bullet holes.”  (Taylor Swift – Bad Blood) It’s not about how things look – it’s about how things are. When people are wounded, the pain is deep, the offence lingers and the walls go up.

I once heard someone apologize to a loved one by saying, “I’m so sorry that I’m both the umbrella and the rain.” What a poetic way to express the reality that relationships are complicated.

Apologizing is a good start when you have offended someone or someone has offended you. However,  a trite or even an authentic-sounding apology made for the purpose of abruptly stopping the interaction and/or steering away from much needed further conversation doesn’t suffice or bring healthy closure to a conflict.

“It’s OK” is often not an adequate response to an apology. 

“I’m sorry” are powerful words and when spoken with genuine and meaningful intent, they can herald a conversation that moves two people towards change. An apology makes resolution a safer place to go but it’s what you do after the apology that truly counts.

To mean it means you’ll do something about it.

“I’m sorry. It’s my fault. What can I do to make it right?” is a better way to go because this apology admits fault, takes responsibility AND asks for feedback. 

Sometimes, we need help. We can be genuinely sorry but be absolutely crippled when it comes to the next step. Inward reflection for a time is always a good thing but ultimately, conversation and action are on the other end of an apology.

With an apology, there is unleashing of pride.

With forgiveness, there is grace.

With conversation, there is intent to understand.

With Christ, there is always hope and love. So, say “Sorry” and keep talking.

Let’s keep on pursuing those things that bring peace and that lead to building up one another.   Romans 14.19


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About Me

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I'm just a nobody, trying to tell everybody about Somebody who can save anybody. I give all honor to the Father for the privilege of being His instrument, through whom He lives and works for His glory alone. I served in the U.S. Navy for 21 years, retiring in September 2003. In my final three years, I was co-pastor at Greater New Refuge COGIC in Fallon, Nevada, under Pastor Gregory L. Brown. I supported my pastor and church by helping with a new sanctuary's construction and caring for all ministry needs while staying true to my mandate to preach the Word of God without compromise. In November 2002, I was licensed to preach and ordained in June 2003. While stationed in Virginia Beach, I served at Pleasant Grove Baptist Church for 17 years under Bishop-Elect W.D. Scott, Sr., and now I serve at Calvary Revival Church in Norfolk, VA, under Bishop B. Courtney McBath. I also earned a Bachelor’s Degree in Religion from Saint Leo University, deepening my foundation and commitment to this path of faith.

MY THEOLOGICAL TRAINING:

It brings to my face a unadulterated smile each and every occasion I am asked, “Elder Dre, What Theological Training do you have?”

My heart beams with joy at the opportunity to humbly give full glory to God as I reflect on on how the prophets, patriarchs and apostles of old would have respond: Noah, Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, Joshua, Gideon, King David, Elijah, Elisha, Jeremiah, John the Baptist, Matthew, Mark, Peter, James, John and the other disciples, not forgetting the Saviour Himself.

How would they have answered the question: “What theological training do you have?”

The words of the prophet Amos also came to mind: “Then answered Amos, and said to Amaziah, I was no prophet, neither was I a prophet’s son; but I was an herdman, and a gatherer of sycomore fruit:” Amos 7:14

I surely am not impliedly decrying theological preparation, education or training: I consider it essential, but not as much as some think. For the fact is, the Almighty raises up believers according to His own standards.

Educational qualifications, wealth, fame, talent, social standing, outward appearance etc. are useful; but they are secondary in His sight. Qualities like faith, obedience, holiness, humility, honesty, absolute loyalty to one’s spouse, the ability to raise one’s family to fear God and keep His commandments etc.; these are the things the Most High values.

“Man looketh on the outward appearance, but the LORD looketh on the heart.”

Only on the Day of Judgment will it be known how truly educated, weighty and effective I have been. That is why I have to smile when the question arise.

The vanity of the question is only matched by the foolishness of my answer.

As the wise man wrote: “Vanity of vanities, saith the Preacher; all is vanity.” Ecclesiastes 1: 2 or as the apostle Paul commented in 2 Corinthians 11:16-30 when rattling off a long list of impressive qualifications “... I speak as a fool.”

Furthermore, we have seen with our own eyes and now testify that the Father sent his Son to be the Savior of the world. All who proclaim that Jesus is the Son of God have God living in them, and they live in God. 1 John 4:14-15 (NLT)

I am a preacher, but most of all, I proclaim that Jesus is the Savior with various applications of that truth in my everyday life. My dear friend, if you are a Christian, you are a preacher also. Whether you have been ordained or not, hired by a church or not, or ever been recognized as a preacher or not is beside the point. All who have God living in them are called to proclaim the Savior to the world. It is a Holy calling, and a demanding one. It will pull you out of your comfort zone, challenge your commitment, and help to develop you into the person God has created you to be.

John spoke as an eyewitness to Jesus' saving power. We speak as heart-witnesses; ones who have not seen Jesus with our eyes, but have experienced Him through personal transformation. I speak, and you speak, as a representative of Christ on earth. The message that we bring is simple, yet profound; that God the Father sent God the Son into the world to save those who are lost to bring them into relationship with Him. As you tell the story, and I tell the story, some will listen and receive the grace that God has sent us into the world to proclaim.

PRAYER THOUGHT: Father, what a privilege to be a spokesperson for You.

Thank you for stopping by. Stay encouraged and please do come back.