TO BE LOVED

My dear brothers and sisters in Christ, everyone wants to be loved yet there are moments in our lives when we feel that nobody truly appreciate nor understand how we as unique individuals desire to be loved in our own inimitable way. Every man knows well enough that he is a unique being, only once on this earth; and by no extraordinary chance will such a marvelously picturesque piece of diversity in unity as he is, ever be put together a second time. God Himself also desires to be loved in an incomparable way. He calls it agape. Yes, an agape Love is an unconditional love. A man's true value consists in his likeness to God. What gives value to his thoughts, his feelings, and his actions is the extent to which they are inspired by God, the extent to which they express the thought, the will, and the acts of God.

The Choctaw (so called Indians) are a Native American people originally from the Southeastern United States (Mississippi, Alabama, and Louisiana). They met my forefathers over five hundred years ago and realized that they were not fellow Native Americas but shared the unique ruddy skin, dark as mud. Their witness of our deep desire to be free, to be loved and appreciated by any means necessary that they identified us as “Tuscaloosa”, which means Black Warrior in that language.

Today, some five hundred years later, I too, a human being, a man, a Blackman, a Black Warrior desire to be loved in unique way, the agape way. You may ask, “How do you love a Blackman?” First of all, I can’t speak for all black men; as I’ve stated earlier, we are all unique in our own individual distinctive way. But as an individual Blackman if it were necessary for me to poetically simplify or better yet, poetically break it down, how I want to be loved, I would simply say that the first thing you must understand,

There is no easy way to love this Blackman.
You've got to take time to figure me out,
And study and digest what I’m really about
Knowing I’m someone you can't live without.

Then pour on the kindness
Shower me with sweetness,
Never letting me take your kindness for weakness.
For my desire is strength with a touch of gentleness

I have a tough time giving my all to you,
So be appreciative of the little things I try to do.
Let me know I can trust and confide in you,
And in return I won't have to hide things from you.
So be my supporting rock, be my friend not my foe,
When I fall don't be so quick to say, “I told you so”

Be understanding, not demanding.
Let me unwind, I face a world of rain,
So try to be my ray of sunshine.

Don't get too cozy in the comfort zone.
You might take it all for granted and end up alone.

Keep love new, exciting and just a little bit wild.
It doesn't hurt to go that extra mile;
Finding new ways to make me smile.

Keep it sexy but devout.
Because without a doubt
I want to be proud when I take you out.

Don't forget about you, never let yourself go
Love yourself, and I will love you too

Don't smother me please, just let me breathe.
The tighter you hold on, the faster I will leave.

And when you love me, love me all the way down,
Don't be afraid to explore me pound for pound.

If you don't keep it a constant thrill,
Please believe me someone else will.

Be patient, keep it real and demand respect.
And this wonderful black king is what you will get.

Show me your pride
Stand by my side.
Let God be your guide
And love will abide

Amen

“A wise lover values not so much the gift of the lover as the love of the giver" Thomas à Kempis

IF A MAN WANTS YOU...

If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away. If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay. Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior. Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache. Stop trying to change yourselves for a relationship that's not meant to be. Slower is better. Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy. If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve then heck no, you can't "be friends." A friend wouldn't mistreat a friend. Don't settle. If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is. Don't stay because you think "it will get better." You'll be mad at yourself in a year later for staying when things are not better. The only person you can control in a relationship is you. Avoid men who've got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women. He didn't marry them when he got them pregnant, why would he treat you any differently? Always have your own set of friends separate from his. Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you. If something bothers you, speak up. Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later. You cannot change a man's behavior. Change comes from within. Don't EVER make him feel he is more important than you are...even if he has more education or in a better job. Do not make him into a quasi-god. He is a man, nothing more nothing less. Never let a man define who you are. Never borrow someone else's man. Oh Lord! If he cheated with you, he'll cheat on you. A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you. All men are NOT dogs. You should not be the one doing all the bending...compromise is a two-way street. You need time to heal between relationships...there is nothing cute about baggage... deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you...a relationship consists of two WHOLE individuals...look for someone complimentary...not supplementary. Dating is fun...even if he doesn't turn out to be Mr. Right. Make him miss you sometimes...when a man always know where you are, and your always readily available to him- he takes it for granted. Don't fully commit to a man who doesn't give you everything that you need. Keep him in your radar but get to know others. Share this with other ladies..... You'll make someone SMILE, another RETHINK her choices and another woman PREPARE. They say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them and an entire lifetime to forget them.

My dear brothers and sisters in Christ, the author of this very moving letter is yet to be found. It is considered to be penned by Oprah Winfrey. In attempting to get to the bottom of this mystery, many have read through three life histories of Oprah’s. None contained any of the supposed quotes, but those biographies could have been published before she made these remarks, so not finding them proves nothing. Some have e-mailed The Oprah Winfrey Show to ask about the list. While some did immediately receive a standard auto-reply thanking them for writing (which at least confirms it went to the right place), many have heard nothing since.